This week marked the end of the harvest for the vineyard where I work.  We have only two active ferments and after tonight I think it will be down to one.  I started working March 28th and can’t believe it’s been only seven weeks since I’ve been here; it feels like a lifetime since I’ve seen familiar, known faces and heard myself surrounded by only West Coast American accents.  I’ve found myself saying things like “reckon?” “cruisey” “too easy” and other New Zealand specific slang, but more importantly, I’ve learned so much more than I could have possibly expected or hoped for.

 With that in mind I should be elated, but instead I feel deflated - I wonder why that is.  Today David said that he thinks we all get so keyed up and are under so much stress during vintage, that once it slows down and we can breathe again, it’s almost like being shell shocked; you finally have time to feel the impact of all of the stresses you went through for the past weeks.  All I know is that I am insanely tired (lazy) and really really want to go home.  I miss Portland, I miss my family, friends, my own space with my own peeps.  Sitting here listening to Elliott Smith isn’t helping matters.  I’m vaguely excited about the next few weeks of traveling around New Zealand and seeing new places I’ve never been, but I really just wish I could have dinner with my family, sit around drinking wine and chatting with Soo, and sleep in my own bed. 

This past year has been the most unexpected, unpredictable, and turned on it’s head year that I’ve ever experienced.  I feel like I’ve rolled with it pretty well and learned to adjust to new situations as well as I could.  It’s been really interesting to test myself and see how I am in new circumstances that I never would have predicted I would find myself in.  My Mom told me that Luke (2.5 year old nephew) is extremely interested in his own body parts lately and will ask her, “What are these?  What is this called?” when pointing at his nipples or something - which I think is pretty amazingly self aware for a little kid.  But I guess that’s how I have felt these past few months, like, what’s this?  What do I think about this?  How am I going to deal with this?  And then testing myself out to see what happens and learn something new about myself.

I’m okay with traveling by myself.  I didn’t know how that would go but it doesn’t scare me anymore.  I had been worried that I would only enjoy traveling with someone else; experiencing it along with another person, but I’m good on my own, I still am interested in the world, I still enjoy new places and experiences, and the idea of going just about anywhere solo isn’t daunting at all - in fact the travel plans keep piling up, one upon another, in my head.  But that’s for later.  For now I’m just going to work another week or so here, help press off the remaining red ferments, and then head on my way to explore the sights, hikes, mountains, beaches and wines of this endearing little country.

And then go to my home!

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 13th, 2008 at 3:00 am and is filed under Essays by Bri, New Zealand, Posts by Bri, Wine. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.